She Never Realized
by Rayne Nightingale
Summary: Songfic. Hermione comes back from Romania to find that Harry had committed suicide. She suddenly realizes a lot of things. HP/HG No flames please.


_First Fanfic ever finished. _

_Disclaimer: Why do people do these things? Oh well, anyways, I. Do. No. Own. ANYTHING. Except for the plot line of this fanfic. :) Read and Reiview!_

"Dammit Harry! How could you! How could you leave me like this?" Her eyes were tightly shut, releasing a sob, clutching the tombstone in agony. The rain drizzled down onto her now wet curly hair, dampening her clothes, and the rain hid her tears that fell from her blood shot eyes. "How, how, how!" She started to hyperventilate, and she forced herself to breathe. She opened her eyes, and through the rain, and the water that blurred her blood shot eyes, she made out the word on the tombstone in front of her.

_RIP_

_Harry James Potter_

_Savior_

_Beloved Friend_

She had only heard of it this morning, after she arrived back from Romania and was about to enter her new home.

"_Excuse me. Are you Her-my-o-knee Granger?" a strange accent came from behind her, and she swiftly turned. A tall man stood behind the gate of her yard, and umbrella in one black gloved hand and a suitcase in the other. A black hat covered brown hair and eyes, and long tan rain coat blocked any other features._

"_Why yes I am," she flashed him a fake pleasant smile, and walked down to the gate where he waited. "Oh my! Phillip Kempton! Been quite a while hasn't it?" She had recognized the man as someone from the Ministry of Magic. _

"_Well, yes, yes it has. But in fact, I am here to deliver sorrowful news."_

_Hermione took a sharp intake of breathe, and her eyes glazed over. "What is it? What happened?" Her voice held an edge to it, and she managed to mask some of her panic._

"_On December 15, 2 months ago" Phillip paused as if to search for the right words to say. "Harry James Potter committed suicide."_

_Suicide?_

_Suicide?_

_The words repeated itself in her head, and she was vaguely aware of murmuring it. Her fists clenched tightly, as did her heart. "Harry committed suicide? How! Why?" She shook Phillip, her mouth suddenly turning dry, and a dark sadness filling her._

"_We believe that it could've been that he suffered from depression."_

"_What! How can that be? He was perfectly fine when I was with him a year ago!" She said, shaking him again. Annoyed, Phillip pulled out of her grip and stepped away. _

"_People can change in such a small amount of time." he said slowly and sadly. He walked towards a black car, and held open a door. "I am here to drive you to his resting place. You'll be the last to pay your respects." _

_She nodded numbly, and got in the car. _

She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe it. Her dearest friend. The one who had saved her more than once, comforted her, was always with her. She had always been with him in school. From the ogre, to Buckbeak, to dragons, and horcruxes…

Hermione embraced the cold tomb, not caring how idiot she probably looked. She felt as if this was the only way to him. The closest contact she'll ever be able to get to him from then on.

"Why did you leave? Why did you…" she chocked on another sob, her tears flowing freely. "…kill yourself." It was strange. When you had something for so long, sometimes certain things were over looked. But she was aware of it now, for it had slapped her in the face.

"I'm in love with you, did you know?" she whisper hoarsely, kissing the stone name lightly. How could she had been so _stupid?_ All this time, she was in love with him. But she pushed her feelings aside when she saw him with Cho. Pushed her feelings aside when she saw him with Ginny. And when she finally admitted it to herself, that she truly never gotten over him, it was because of his death.

"I also got you something from Romania…you would've loved it so much. I always thought of you. Always wondered if you were okay, and thinking about me too…" Hermione inhaled and exhaled deeply, removing herself from the tomb, and getting up. She held no umbrella, and let the rain fall onto her like cold wet kisses. She took a couple steps back, staring only at the tomb. "I love you. I love you. I love you." She breathed, turning her gaze up towards the sky. "I wanted to be with you..."

_So I've made up my mind_

_I will pretend_

_To leave this world behind_

_And in the end_

How strange. Hermione thought, looking up at the sky.

_You'll know I've lied_

_To get your attention_

_I'm faking my own suicide_

Sunlight shone through white-gray clouds yet it still rained, and it gave the graveyard…such a sad, peaceful glow. It was then, where she heard it. Her head snapped towards the forest far off behind her, and though it was faint, she was sure. "Who the bloody hell would be bloody singing near a bloody grave yard!" Hermione growled agitated and not in the mood.

"I'm faking my own suicide

Because I know you love me

You just haven't realized…"

But listening closely, she started to make out words.

"I'm faking my own suicide

They'll hold a double funeral

Because a part of you will die

Along with me"

"What the bloody…." Hermione squinted and made out the shape of a person in the woods.

"Wish you thought that I was dead

So rather than me

You'd be depressed instead

And before arriving at my grave

You'd come to the conclusion

You've loved me all your days

But it's too late

Too late for you to say"

The words were clearer now, and she could make out a tall, muscular but lean man, with a mess of black hair. "No way…." she whispered, her eyes wide with shock as she turned her whole body in his direction. The singing was actually quite lovely, she thought. It was a light, angel like voice danced in the wind.

"Because I'm faking my own suicide

Because I know you love me

You just haven't realized

I'm faking my own suicide

They'll hold a double funeral…"

She did a double take at him, and the tomb. "But…but…" she started stuttering, her heart pounding like drums as the person got closer and closer.

"Because a part of you will die

Along with me…"

Hermione made out a partly open white collared shirt, with the long sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Blue jeans, with a very familiar stick tied to one of the loop hole, and in one of his perfect hands was a bunch of lilies.

"I'll write you a letter that you'll keep

Reminding you your love for me

Is more than six feet deep

You say aloud that you

Would've been my wife

Right about that time

Is when I come back to life"

Tears started to well up in her eyes, and her hand flew up to cover her mouth to muffle a sob. "Harry!"

"And let you know

I'd let you know , whoooaaa…"

He was right in front of her now, as real as possible. He had a goofy grin on his face, his green eyes boring into hers. She stared at him in disbelief, and reached out hesitantly to touch his face. He closed his eyes as her soft cold fingers traced his warm face wistfully. He sang softly now, letting her take in what was happening.

"I was faking my own suicide

Because I know you loved me

You just never realized"

Then, in one movement, she pulled him into a tight hug, squeezing him as if he'd disappear. Harry smiled, and pulled her closer, letting her cries soak his shirt. He truly loved her, so, so much. And when she left a year ago, he fell into a depression. Lost contact with his friends. Broke up with Ginny…he basically died, he couldn't live. Hermione was his existence, and with her, he was lost. He always wondered if she loved him back, and he was always sure of it. He wondered if she would ever forgive him of his naughty trick. But she loves me, he thought happily, having had heard everything she said by a little charm placed on the tomb.

"I was faking my own suicide

I'll walk in that room and

See your eyes open so wide

I've been so lost

Because you know"

He pulled her into a passionate kiss that was but sweet and soft, all the suppressed emotions being expressed in a kiss made it breathtaking. They pulled away to take in a gasp of air, and he leaned down and whispered in her ear,

"Because you know

You will never leave my sight

Until the day that I die for the first time,"

He pulled away again, smiling so happy to be finally with her, and she laughed and cried happy tears.

She loves me. He thought.

He loves me. She thought.

Hermione stared up at him in wonder, as he began to finish the song.

"And we'll laugh, yeah we'll laugh

And we will cry

So overjoyed with the love

That saved my life

Our love is so aliv-

BONK!

"Owwwww!!! What the 'ell was that for Hermione!" Harry yelled frustrated, his face growing red. Hermione had smacked him right on top of his fore head with none other than Hogwarts: A History. "I always hated that book…" he said under his breath.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!!! YOU BLOODY GIT!" Hermione huffed, her hands on her hips. "_Faking your own suicide!? _Just what were THINKING!!!!???" He gulped and smiled sheepishly, "I only planned up to the singing part actually." Hermione smacked him again, but this time with her hand.

"Harry James Potter, you nearly given me a heart attack!"

"I know a song that can go to that too!" He laughed when she let out a frustrated growl, and started stomping away.

"Hey, hey wait!" he chased after her and wrapped his arm around her waist, dipping his head to brush his lips against her gentle waves of hair. _"__You have given me a heart attack ,you'll never know, what it's like to face the fact you might let go. Now I won't stand for any thought of that, Heavens no. 'Cause I will cling to you and always have a stronger hold."_

"Oh, not another song!" Hermione rolled her eyes, and he laughed.

"Fine, but im waiting…" Harry playfully said, with a twinkle in his eye.

"For what?" She titled her head confused.

"For that gift you got me from Romania of course!" He laughed loudly, and Hermione looked away.

"Oh you git." she murmured, but when Harry bent his head down to hers to capture her lips in other kiss, she happily complied.

END

I had this in my head for a long time now, and I finally decided to write it out. I think it came out rather well. Review please!

Songs go to my number one favorite band:

Faking my own suicide - Relient K

At least we've made it this far - Relient K


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